It’s been three months!
After all that miscarriage stuff was said and done, I met with my doc to re-evaluate where we’re at and what to do going forward. We had it in our head that we would just do another transfer after I had some more testing done for clotting disorders and recurrent miscarriages. We knew how much a frozen transfer was, so we had our minds set and were ready as soon as they would allow. I saw my Kaiser doctor and she ordered all the bloodwork, which came back clear, again. Which is a good thing don’t get me wrong, but what the F*** keeps happening. Every. Single. Time? She also tried to do an endometrial biopsy (that lovely thing I had done before my last transfer where they scratch inside your uterus, but this time for testing the tissue). But she couldn’t get me to dilate, so it didn’t happen.
We were so set on jumping into another transfer, I have already purchased all the meds I will need, but doc said he wont do another until I get a hysteroscopy (scope to see inside the uterus to make sure there’s nothing going on in there) and the biopsy under anesthesia. Translation: Add a few grand more to that bill.
(Side note: I just learned the other day that people actually think that if you have infertility issues its because you have STD’s…no people, that is not the case most of the time! Neither Danny, nor myself have any STD’s. Actually we have been cleared of every single freaking test they have ordered for us!)
I decided it was time for a break. I had told Danny that if this round didn’t work I was going to take a break and lose some weight and just take some time to refocus. I am in quite a few IVF groups on Facebook and I started reading a lot about the Keto way of life (ketogenics/ketosis) and how women have switched to this way of eating to help with hormone issues, high blood pressure, PCOS and endometriosis. So many of the things I was reading resonated with me, so I researched the crap out of it and decided to give it a go. Day 2, down 3 pounds. Day 3, down another 4. It’s been about two months and I am almost to my first goal, I have lost 21 pounds, I have 3 more to go to my first goal. After a few weeks Danny hopped on board after he saw my success, he’s about 3 weeks in I think and down 15 pounds. I feel so much better, I’m not tired any more, I don’t have gastrointestinal issues anymore, my blood pressure is down and hope to get off meds for that soon (unless they were right and it’s genetic), my nails are strong and long for the first time in my life, and I don’t have inflammation problems anymore!
We decided that we would apply for a grant, in the hopes to help us afford this round. It’s a group called BabyQuest, they raise money and help couples struggling to pay for fertility treatments. I still cant fathom the amount of money we have spent, without success so far, it’s just unfair that there is no insurance coverage at all. I buckled down and started filling out the packet of paperwork, the doctors office had to fill out a packet and I had to write two papers, one about who Danny and I are and one about our fertility history. I got everything done and filled out a week before the deadline. We had such high hopes that this was going to be our chance to be able to do one more transfer and have it be successful.
We’ve been trying to take a small vacation since last September before we started all of this, we haven’t been anywhere since our honeymoon, almost three years ago! It just hasn’t happened, and with all the money we have spent we just fathom spending that extra money on a trip. My grandma had mentioned how much they loved Boise, Idaho. To be honest, I had to look at a map to see where Idaho was, yes laugh it up. We decided to take a road trip, we needed it!
We left at 3am on a Wednesday morning and drove 14 hours straight through Nevada, how freaking boring. We had three full days to explore Boise and the surrounding areas. It’s beautiful! There are literally trees everywhere, it is called “the city of trees”. We had an amazing time and found a little small town outside the city about 10 minutes that we fell in love with. It was so nice to just get away and explore a new place.
We got home last Sunday night and took Monday off to get some rest before going back to work. Tuesday morning Stella started throwing up around 7am, and couldn’t keep food down or anything in her body throughout the day. I was home with her all day, and had to rearrange my schedule Wednesday morning so she wasn’t alone until the vet could get here, and my mom took over so I could get to work. We got her some meds and testing came back clear, so we don’t know what happened but she’s all better now.
I was at work Friday and had just finished putting color on a new client and an email from BabyQuest came through. I didn’t even think twice and opened it…”Unfortunately, we are not able to offer you one at this time.” My heart sunk and it took everything in me not to start crying in the middle of my salon. So, there’s that. We haven’t really even talked about it since then. We’re not sure what our next steps are quite yet. The last month has been pretty emotionally rough for me (both of us probably), celebrating one of my closest friends second baby coming soon, and three announcements on social media of people due at the same time I would have been due, and a few more due at the end of the year. I know it sounds lame, but there’s been a few times lately that I’ve really just wanted to delete Facebook. It’s not that I have any anger toward these friends and acquaintances, I’m really happy for all these people, really, excited for them, I’m just so sad for us, and kind of pissed (for us, not pissed at them). We have friends that have had two babies in the time that we’ve been trying, its just frustrating, especially when there are no answers, nothing is “wrong” with us, and that its just “bad luck”. In the meantime we are working on our house, finishing painting a few rooms and changing out some old faucets and getting rid of crap we have accumulated in the last two years.